November 16, 2014~

It's been a minute since I wrote, I actually forgot that I had this out there. I have since gotten divorced from Chuck, going through a custody battle, and have found the love of my life. I never thought that I would find love so pure. I was never in love with my husband, I was resigned to the fact that I was older and probably wouldn't meet anyone else to settle down with.

When I decided to ask Chuck to leave, I was beyond fed up with him not working consistently, not taking care of our family in the way a husband should, and constantly relying on his mother to get us out of financial jams. I asked him about getting an education, about getting a different job that would be more steady, but not one of my requests went on to be fulfilled. 

I then decided that it was time to move on, I did however have the help of a good friend, he helped me to see that I can do bad all by myself, why did I need a man in tow..  Also the fact that I was not in love with chuck, I mean I loved him, he was a decent father, terrible provider, but a good father over all. That is if you are doing what he wanted the way he wanted it, he was a good person. But when he didn't like what you were doing or how you were talking to him, he would turn on  you like a snake.. Bite you quick, you wouldn't even know he bit you until you started to swell.

But now a year later, I have met someone who give nothing but the purest of love. I have never known a love like this. She is an amazing woman. Yes I said woman, I have been straddling the fence on my sexuality for a little while, but when I met her, I knew I was supposed to be with her. I dreamt  of her, I knew her before I met her...

I really love her!  Until I write again... Good night. 

New Year - New Outlook

When it comes to my way of doing things, at times it has worked out well, and others it has blown up in my face. This year I will turn 44, WOW 44, I don't feel old at all..  I used to look at my 40's as if I would never get there. I feel like I did when I was in my 30's, and then I felt like I was 20 something.

Age is a funny thing, you want your kids to "grow up" but then again you don't. You want them to act mature, but when they do, you feel as if you are no longer needed. At least I do. So with all that being said, I have decided to live a life of an open minded, patient, and forgiving person. I say that because I am not normally that way. I will hold a grudge, judge others, be closed minded to things I don't understand and my patients was something to be desired.

People have been dying all around me this year. An Army Sargent in my unit -Age 45, two co-workers husbands, my husbands grandfather, and two school mates from high school, either of them were over 45 y ears old.

I often wonder why are there so many people dying? Is it what we have been eating? Is it our life style.  After going to the ER myself last week, I feel that I need to change somethings about myself.  Chuck and I will start exercising together, we are eating better and getting the right amount of sleep.

But is that enough? I want to be healthy like my mother, happy like my father and live to be as old as my Grandmother. My mother is vibrant, healthy, energetic and enthusiastic about life, My father is happy in his life, still goes hunting and will soon turn 75 years old.  My Grandmother is 92 years old and you wouldn't know it. She is healthy, happy and very aware of everything around her. Now if I were 92, I would want to be just like her.

Here you have a picture of my Mother and my Sister Linda. Both happy and have the same smile. I love my mom. She is as sweet and loving as they come. My sister is my second mother, she is 12 years older then me and has always looked after me in one way or another. Now that we are older she is not as connected with me, but that's OK, we all  have our own lives.

We all change, she used to be sweet and loving, but I guess life changes us. My sister Cathy (not shown) and I were very close. We used to hang out when I would go and visit her. She has a wonderful and free outlook on life. My other sister Carla, we are not close and really never were. She has always been the pretty one, though I never held that against her, she always seemed to be a bit standoffish.   I was shy at times and at others outgoing.

I would like this year to start a new tradition, I would like it if my sisters and I could renew our relationships and become closer as we age. Because in reality, all we have is each other as our parents age. 75 is no small number, but the up side of that is, our grandparents on both sides have lived to their 90's. we have some time to re-kindle our relationship with each other and make our relationship with our parents stronger.

This will not only benefit us as sisters, but it will enrich the lives of our parents as they age. So as far as I am concerned, I will take the first steps to making this change.

Stay tuned~

Spoke to Dad last night

So I call dad to say happy holidays and check to see how he and his wife are doing.. He tells me all is well, his knees are holding up, since the knee replacement he feels like a 65 year old... He feels good. His birthday is coming up, he will be a spry 75 years old. I love my father... So much I can't even explain. His wife will be putting on a 75th birthday party for him.

He asked me to come. I think this is the first time in a long time my dad has asked me to come out to Cali for his birthday. This is a huge milestone, 3/4 of a century old, I WILL BE THERE for that momentous occasion.

I cant wait. This will also give me a chance to see my friends and celebrate my birthday with them as well. My dad and I were  born in the same month.

What do you get a man of 75 years for his birthday? Reading glasses, magnifying glass, the big print books... Not sure. But I do know I will be there with lots of hugs and kisses..

Love you Dad!

From My side of the Family~

My niece - She meets and marries a young soldier- has two beautiful little girls- She moves to an Army base with her husband - he gets deployed to Iraq- Spends a year there, and IED explodes near their vehicle, his commanders legs get blown off and his legs are full of shrapnel - He comes home for surgery to recover - is home for 22 months and then goes back to Iraq -

Present time-

My niece Joan flies home to California from Texas with her kids to be with her mother and father. She will stay there until her husband returns from his current tour. She finds a job, the kids are in daycare and thriving, she is happy... Her husband calls her and tells her he will be home in the next two week and that she needs to come back from Cali to set up her housing to prepare for his return.

She returns with kids in tow.. She sets up housing, buys furniture - prepares for her husband to return - He then calls her and says (get this) I WANT A DIVORCE... She was floored... She doesn't understand and asks him why, what happened.. He tells her he has been corresponding with an ex-girlfriend on Facebook and wants to be with her... He tells her the divorce papers are in the mail, just to sign them and go about your business..

So after being incredibly devastated, she gathers herself, the kids and moves back to Cali.. So far no papers have arrived, no Christmas gifts for the kids and no communication from the soldier husband...

Poor Joan... I think of her daily since the news of this story came to my attention... Idiot Soldier husband....

Black on Black crime

OK, so we have a cousin, we will call him Jim, he and his wife live in a house they share with another cousin and his wife and three kids, one of which is special needs, we will call them Donald and Keisha. Now Donald and Jim got into some sort of argument, Jim and his wife decide to kick Donald and Keisha out the week of Christmas, all their belongings were put on the street and they were left homeless.

Now my mother-in-law drive to the a friends house to pick up Donald the wife and kids, she brings them to her house, where her husband, brother, daughter and her husband and child also live... (this is a full house already) Now Donald, the wife and three kids are there with no where else to go, no belongings (they were stolen) and a disabled child.

Cousin Jim, feels no shame in his act and has not attempted to apologize for his actions. We are all amazed that he would do that to family.  All we can do is pray the Donald, Keisha and the kids find housing soon.

by the way- they have been waiting for their housing voucher and should have it be Feb... Why couldn't Jim and his wife wait till then???  We may never know...

Today 29 Dec 2011 - An Uncles deception

So my husband calls me before I get to the office to tell me a quick story about his uncle Jack. He begins to laugh... I ask him "what is it"? He said, "you wont believe what I just heard" I asked him to tell me.. Here we go:
          His aunt Sue went to the hospital to visit his uncle, (he is in the hospital after becoming very ill) Jack's pastor asked Aunt Sue, "how long have you been in the country?" Sue looked at him surprised and said "all my life, we were born in North Carolina and raised in Arlington" Why? she asked.. Here's the kicker... The pastor continues.. Jack said he was from Nigeria, he said the entire family lived there and when your mother passed away in 2004 he could not make it back to Africa, so we gave her a memorial service at our church.  Sue looked as surprised as anyone would.. She said, we have lived in Arlington for over 50 years, my mother died in Arlington, and was buried in Arlington. The pastor looked dumbfounded.

       Now Jack has been ill for over 20 years, do you think the karma is catching up with him?